phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
