Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
