I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
