im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
