One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
