i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
