I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
