she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
