I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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