I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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