I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
