Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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