yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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