Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just had sex on a roof
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
