okay pat passed out under dana's car
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
