I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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