i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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