It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
