a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
