Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
