just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
40s are totally the cure
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
