i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
