I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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