SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
