We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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