I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
