Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
