and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
