Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
