So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
