How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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