i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
