it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
