is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My vagina just recognized that song.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have post one night stand depression
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