Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
