My room smells like vodka and shame
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
