Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
