3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
