carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
