Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
