You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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