I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
