You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
