Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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