Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
