I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
