You're completely useless in the revolution.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
