Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
