dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My ATM looks so different sober.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
