My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
