just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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