it was like his penis was on wheels.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
