Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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