u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
