soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
